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Narcissist Hunter > Blog > Manipulation Tactics > 14 Thought-Control Tactics Narcissists Use to Confuse and Dominate You

14 Thought-Control Tactics Narcissists Use to Confuse and Dominate You

Fahim Chughtai
Last updated: 2023/04/07 at 4:15 PM
By Fahim Chughtai Manipulation Tactics
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11 Min Read
14 Thought-Control Tactics Narcissists Use to Confuse and Dominate You

Narcissists are known for their manipulative and controlling behavior, often using thought-control tactics to confuse and dominate their victims. These tactics can be difficult to recognize, leaving victims feeling powerless and trapped in the relationship.

Contents
How Narcissists Control and Manipulate Theirย Victims?1. Gaslighting2. Projection3. Blame-shifting4. Smear Campaigns5. Triangulation6. Intermittent Reinforcement7. Love-bombing8. Discarding and Hoovering9. Silent Treatment10. Double Standards11. Emotional Blackmail12. Playing the Victim14. Physical AbuseFinal Thoughts Subscribe Newsletter!

In this blog post, I will outline 14 common thought-control tactics narcissists use, including gaslighting, projection, blame-shifting, and more. By understanding these tactics, you can better recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and protect yourself from its damaging effects. Letโ€™s dive in.

How Narcissists Control and Manipulate Theirย Victims?

Narcissists control and manipulate their victims to maintain their sense of superiority and to get what they want. They may use a combination of tactics to confuse and dominate their victims. These tactics can cause victims to question their own reality and feel trapped in the relationship.

1. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make their victims doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity. Narcissists may deny something they said or did, blame their victim for misremembering, or tell their victim that they are being too sensitive.

Read more: How Gaslighting works?

Examples of How Narcissists Use Gaslighting

  • A narcissist tells their partner that they never said something hurtful, even though the partner clearly remembers the conversation.
  • A narcissist accuses their partner of being paranoid or delusional when they question their behavior.
  • A narcissist tells their partner that they are too sensitive and need to toughen up.

Read more: Gaslighting Examples in Narcissistic relationships

2. Projection

Projection is a defense mechanism used by narcissists to attribute their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to their victims. This tactic can confuse victims and make them question their own behavior and intentions.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Projection

  • A narcissist accuses their partner of being selfish, even though the narcissist is the one who is self-absorbed.
  • A narcissist accuses their partner of cheating, even though the narcissist is the one who is unfaithful.
  • A narcissist accuses their partner of being controlling, even though the narcissist is the one who is manipulative.

3. Blame-shifting

Blame-shifting is a tactic used by narcissists to deflect responsibility for their own actions and behaviors onto their victims. This can cause victims to feel guilty or responsible for the narcissistโ€™s behavior.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Blame-shifting

  • A narcissist blames their partner for their own unhappiness or dissatisfaction.
  • A narcissist blames their partner for their own mistakes or failures.
  • A narcissist blames their partner for their own abusive behavior.

4. Smear Campaigns

A smear campaign is a tactic used by narcissists to damage their victimโ€™s reputation or relationships with others. Narcissists may spread rumors, lies, or half-truths about their victim to isolate them and maintain control.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Smear Campaigns

  • A narcissist spreads lies about their ex-partner to mutual friends to damage their reputation.
  • A narcissist tells their partnerโ€™s family members that they are mentally unstable to isolate them from their support system.
  • A narcissist spreads rumors about a co-worker to make themselves look better by comparison.

5. Triangulation

Triangulation is a tactic used by narcissists to create drama or competition between two or more people to maintain their control and boost their ego. Narcissists may use triangulation to make their victim feel jealous, insecure, or inferior.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Triangulation

  • A narcissist flirts with their partnerโ€™s friend to make their partner jealous.
  • A narcissist pits two friends against each.

other to create competition and maintain their control.

  • A narcissist compares their partner unfavorably to someone else to make them feel inferior.

6. Intermittent Reinforcement

Intermittent reinforcement is a tactic used by narcissists to reward or punish their victim inconsistently. This can create an addictive cycle of hope and fear, causing the victim to stay in the relationship despite the abuse.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Intermittent Reinforcement

  • A narcissist showers their partner with affection one day and ignores them the next.
  • A narcissist alternates between compliments and insults to keep their victim off-balance.
  • A narcissist gives their partner the silent treatment for days and then suddenly becomes affectionate again.

7. Love-bombing

Love-bombing is a tactic used by narcissists to overwhelm their victim with attention, affection, and gifts at the beginning of a relationship. This can make the victim feel special and loved, but it is often a manipulative tactic to gain control.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Love-bombing

  • A narcissist buys their partner expensive gifts and showers them with attention in the early stages of a relationship.
  • A narcissist sends constant texts and calls to their partner to make them feel wanted and desired.
  • A narcissist talks about a future together very early on to create a sense of commitment and obligation.

8. Discarding and Hoovering

Discarding is a tactic used by narcissists to abruptly end a relationship, often without explanation or warning. Hoovering is when the narcissist tries to suck their victim back into the relationship after discarding them.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Discarding and Hoovering

  • A narcissist abruptly ends a long-term relationship without explanation or warning.
  • A narcissist tells their partner that they need space and disappears for weeks or months.
  • A narcissist tries to get back together with their ex-partner after discarding them by sending gifts or making promises.

9. Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a tactic used by narcissists to punish their victim by refusing to talk or interact with them. This can cause the victim to feel anxious, guilty, and confused.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Silent Treatment

  • A narcissist refuses to talk to their partner for days or weeks after a disagreement.
  • A narcissist gives their partner the silent treatment in public to embarrass or punish them.
  • A narcissist ignores their partnerโ€™s attempts to reconcile or apologize.

10. Double Standards

Double standards are a tactic used by narcissists to hold their victim to a different set of rules or expectations than they hold themselves. This can cause the victim to feel confused, frustrated, and powerless.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Double Standards

  • A narcissist demands that their partner be honest and loyal but lies and cheats themselves.
  • A narcissist expects their partner to be understanding and forgiving but refuses to apologize or take responsibility themselves.
  • A narcissist criticizes their partnerโ€™s behavior but does the same things themselves without consequence.

11. Emotional Blackmail

Emotional blackmail is a tactic used by narcissists to manipulate their victim by threatening to withdraw love, support, or attention unless their demands are met. This can cause the victim to feel guilty, responsible, and trapped.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Emotional Blackmail

  • A narcissist threatens to end the relationship unless their partner does what they want.
  • A narcissist tells their partner that they will hurt themselves if the partner leaves or doesnโ€™t comply with their demands.
  • A narcissist withholds affection or attention unless their partner does what they want.

12. Playing the Victim

Playing the victim is a tactic used by narcissists to shift blame or responsibility onto their victim and elicit sympathy or attention. This can cause the victim to feel guilty, responsible, and trapped

Examples of How Narcissists Play the Victim

  • A narcissist blames their partner for their own mistakes or shortcomings.
  • A narcissist tells a sob story about their difficult childhood or past relationships to gain sympathy and attention.
  • A narcissist exaggerates their own suffering to make their partner feel guilty and responsible.

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13. Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse is a tactic used by narcissists to belittle, demean, and criticize their victim using words. This can cause the victim to feel ashamed, worthless, and powerless.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Verbal Abuse

  • A narcissist calls their partner names or insults their appearance or intelligence.
  • A narcissist uses sarcasm or mocking to belittle their partnerโ€™s opinions or feelings.
  • A narcissist yells or screams at their partner to intimidate or control them.

14. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is a tactic used by narcissists to exert control and intimidate their victim using physical force or violence. This can cause the victim to feel afraid, trapped, and powerless.

Examples of How Narcissists Use Physical Abuse

  • A narcissist hits, slaps, or punches their partner during an argument or disagreement.
  • A narcissist destroys property or throws objects at their partner to intimidate or scare them.
  • A narcissist uses their size or strength to physically overpower or control their partner.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists use a variety of thought-control tactics to confuse and dominate their victims. These tactics can be difficult to recognize, especially if the victim is emotionally invested in the relationship.

It is important to be aware of these tactics and seek help if you or someone you know is experiencing narcissistic abuse. Recognizing and avoiding narcissistic abuse can help prevent long-term emotional and psychological damage.

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By Fahim Chughtai
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A psychologist, and narcissist hunter. Writing for the people who need help to fight narcissists in their life.
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Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own perception of reality. It is a common tactic used in narcissistic relationships, where one partner seeks to control and dominate the other for their own gain. In this blog post, we will explore 10 powerful examples of gaslighting in narcissistic relationships. But first, let's define what we mean by narcissistic relationships. Narcissistic relationships are characterized by one partner who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. This partner may manipulate, exploit, and abuse their partner to maintain control and power over them. Understanding gaslighting in narcissistic relationships is crucial for identifying and addressing the abuse. Gaslighting can take many different forms, and it often goes unrecognized by the victim until it has caused significant damage to their mental health and well-being. Accusing the Victim of Being Crazy One of the most common forms of gaslighting is accusing the victim of being crazy or mentally unstable. The narcissistic partner will suggest that the victim is overreacting or exaggerating the situation, leading the victim to doubt their own sanity. This can cause significant harm to the victim's mental health, as they begin to question their own ability to perceive reality accurately. Denying the Victim's Reality Another form of gaslighting is denying the victim's reality. The narcissistic partner may suggest that the victim's perception of events is incorrect, leading the victim to doubt their own memory and perception of reality. This can be particularly harmful in situations where the victim is being abused or mistreated, as it can cause them to question their own experiences and ignore warning signs of danger. Creating Doubt in the Victim's Mind Gaslighting can also involve creating doubt in the victim's mind. The narcissistic partner may suggest that the victim is remembering things incorrectly or that they are mistaken about certain details. This can cause the victim to question their own memory and perception of events, leading to a loss of confidence and self-esteem. Twisting the Truth Narcissistic partners may also use gaslighting to twist the truth in their favor. They may lie or exaggerate events to make themselves look better and discredit the victim. This can be particularly harmful to the victim's reputation and relationships, as they may be accused of lying or exaggerating events themselves. Using Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail is another common tactic used in gaslighting. The narcissistic partner may use guilt or shame to control the victim's behavior, leading the victim to feel responsible for the abuser's emotional state. This can cause significant harm to the victim's mental health, as they may begin to believe that they are responsible for the abuser's behavior. Gaslighting Through Projection Projection is another form of gaslighting that involves the narcissistic partner projecting their own behavior onto the victim. They may accuse the victim of doing things that they are actually doing themselves, leading the victim to doubt their own sense of self-worth and identity. Making the Victim Doubt Their Own Abilities Narcissistic partners may also use gaslighting to make the victim doubt their own abilities. They may criticize the victim's work or accomplishments, suggesting that they are not good enough or capable enough to succeed. This can cause significant harm to the victim's self-confidence and self-efficacy, leading them to feel inadequate and powerless. Using Intimidation Tactics Intimidation tactics are another common form of gaslighting used in narcissistic relationships. The narcissistic partner may use threats or intimidation to control the victim's behavior, leading the victim to feel unsafe or threatened. This keep writing can cause significant harm to the victim's mental health and well-being, as they may feel trapped and unable to escape the abusive situation. Invalidating the Victim's Emotions Invalidating the victim's emotions is another form of gaslighting used in narcissistic relationships. The narcissistic partner may suggest that the victim's feelings are wrong or irrational, leading the victim to doubt their own emotions and experience of the situation. This can cause significant harm to the victim's mental health, as they may struggle to express themselves and feel invalidated in their emotions. Gaslighting Through Isolation Finally, gaslighting can also occur through isolation. The narcissistic partner may isolate the victim from friends and family, suggesting that these individuals are not good for the victim and leading the victim to feel isolated and alone. This can make the victim more vulnerable to gaslighting tactics, as they may have fewer external sources of support and validation. Conclusion Gaslighting is a dangerous and damaging form of emotional abuse that is often used in narcissistic relationships. It can take many different forms, and it often goes unrecognized by the victim until significant harm has been done to their mental health and well-being. Understanding the signs and examples of gaslighting is crucial for identifying and addressing the abuse, and seeking support from a therapist or support group can be an important step in healing from the trauma of gaslighting. If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting in a narcissistic relationship, it is important to seek help and support. There are resources available, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the National Alliance on Mental Illness, that can provide information and support for those experiencing emotional abuse. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and you do not have to suffer alone.
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9 Powerful Examples of Gaslighting in Narcissistic Relationshipsย 

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai September 11, 2023
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