Breaking Free from the Pleaser Trap: A People-Pleasing Worksheet

People-pleasing is a pattern of behavior in which a person prioritizes the needs and desires of others over their own, often at the expense of their own well-being. While it is natural to want to be helpful and supportive of others, people-pleasing can become problematic when it becomes a default mode of behavior, leading to stress, burnout, and a loss of self-identity.

People-pleasing can take many forms, from saying “yes” to every request, to avoiding conflict at all costs, to changing your behavior to fit in with others. People-pleasing behaviors can be rooted in a variety of underlying beliefs and motivations, such as a fear of rejection or abandonment, a desire for approval or validation, or a sense of obligation or guilt.

The people-pleasing worksheet is designed to help you become more aware of your people-pleasing tendencies and develop strategies to overcome them. Through a series of questions and exercises, you will learn to identify your people-pleasing behaviors, understand the underlying beliefs and motivations behind them, and develop assertiveness skills and self-esteem to overcome them.

By working through the people-pleasing worksheet, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your behavior, and develop the tools you need to make meaningful changes. Over time, you can become more assertive, build stronger relationships based on mutual respect, and live a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Signs you might be a People Pleaser

1. Difficulty saying no: You find it hard to turn down requests or invitations, even when you don’t have the time or energy to fulfill them.
2. Fear of conflict: You avoid confrontation and disagreement, often going along with others’ opinions or decisions even if you don’t agree with them.
3. Constant need for approval: You seek validation and approval from others, often putting their opinions and feelings above your own.
4. Guilt over disappointing others: You feel guilty or anxious when you think you may have let someone down or disappointed them in some way.
5. Difficulty identifying your own needs: You struggle to identify your own wants and needs, and may prioritize others’ desires instead.
6. Self-sacrificing behavior: You put others’ needs before your own, even if it means sacrificing your own well-being or happiness.
7. Overcommitment: You take on too many responsibilities or obligations, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and drained.
8. Feelings of resentment: You may feel resentful or bitter towards others, even though you put their needs before your own, because you feel like you’re not being appreciated or valued in return.

How This People Pleasing Worksheet Can help you ?

Here are some specific ways that the people-pleasing worksheet can help you:

1. Identify your people-pleasing behaviors: The worksheet will help you identify the specific behaviors that you engage in to please others, such as saying yes when you want to say no or avoiding conflict at all costs.
2. Understand your underlying motivations: You will gain insight into the underlying beliefs and motivations that drive your people-pleasing behaviors, such as a fear of rejection or a desire for approval.
3. Develop assertiveness skills: The worksheet will provide you with practical strategies and techniques to help you become more assertive in setting boundaries and communicating your needs effectively.
4. Build self-esteem: You will learn techniques for building self-esteem and self-worth, which can help you break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and become more confident and self-assured.
5. Improve relationships: By becoming more assertive and setting healthy boundaries, you can improve your relationships with others and build stronger, more authentic connections based on mutual respect and trust.

Contents of People Pleasing Worksheet

There are a total of 13 exercises in the People Pleasing worksheet that are designed to help individuals identify and overcome their people-pleasing behaviors. The exercises are spread across the five different sections of the worksheet, with each section focusing on a specific aspect of people-pleasing behavior. The exercises in each section are as follows:

Part 1: Identifying People-Pleasing Behaviors

1. Describe a recent situation where you found yourself people-pleasing.
2. Reflect on why you felt the need to people-please.
3. Identify the consequences of your people-pleasing behavior.

Part 2: Understanding Your Core Values

4. Identify your core values.
5. Reflect on how your people-pleasing behaviors might be in conflict with your values.

Part 3: Developing Assertiveness Skills

6. Practice saying “no” in a respectful and assertive way.
7. Learn how to express your feelings and needs in a clear and direct way.
8. Set clear boundaries with others.
9. Practice active listening skills.

Part 4: Building Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

10. Reflect on your strengths and accomplishments.
11. Practice self-care.
12. Avoid negative self-talk.
13. Seek support from trusted friends or a therapist.

Part 5: Practice, Practice, Practice!

14. Commit to practicing assertiveness skills on a regular basis.

How To use this People pleasing worksheet for maximum positive results?

To use this people-pleasing worksheet for maximum positive results, follow these steps:

1. Set aside dedicated time: Set aside dedicated time to work through each section of the worksheet. This will ensure that you give each exercise the attention it deserves.
2. Be honest with yourself: Be honest with yourself throughout the process. Don’t shy away from uncomfortable truths or difficult emotions. Facing these head-on is the only way to make meaningful progress.
3. Track your progress: Keep track of your progress as you work through the exercises. This will help you see how far you’ve come and give you the motivation to keep going.
4. Take action: Once you’ve identified your people-pleasing behaviors and core values, it’s time to take action. Use the assertiveness skills you’ve learned to set boundaries and communicate your needs. Practice saying “no” in a respectful and assertive way, and make sure you’re taking care of yourself by engaging in activities that make you feel good.
5. Celebrate your successes: Celebrate your successes along the way. Recognize and celebrate when you successfully set a boundary or say “no” to a request that doesn’t align with your values. This will help you stay motivated and continue making progress.

By following these steps, you can use the people-pleasing worksheet to its fullest potential and make positive changes in your people-pleasing behavior.