Have you ever had someone in your life who just wouldn’t let go? No matter how hard you tried to break free, they kept coming back for more. This is what is known as hovering.
Hovering is a term that was used by Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach, Angela Atkinson, and it refers to the way narcissists suck victims back into their lives after they have tried to leave.
In this story, we will discuss the different hovering tactics narcissists use to control their victims. If you have been through this before, it is important to be aware of these tactics so that you can protect yourself from them.
Narcissists are often very good at getting their victims back under their control. They may use a number of hovering traps to lure their victims back in. Some of these traps include:
1. Making themselves indispensable.
Narcissists may try to make themselves indispensable to their victims, either by providing emotional support or doing all the household chores.
This makes it difficult for the victim to leave the narcissist, as they will be left with no one to help them.
2. Playing the victim.
Narcissists may try to make their victims feel sorry for them by playing the victim card. They may claim that they are misunderstood, unappreciated, or that no one understands them.
This can make the victim feel guilty for leaving and may cause them to reconsider their decision.
3. Threatening suicide or self-harm.
Narcissists may threaten suicide or self-harm if their victims leave them. This can be very frightening for the victim and can cause them to stay in the relationship out of fear for the narcissist’s safety.
4. Using children as pawns.
Narcissists may use their children as pawns in order to manipulate their victims into staying with them.
They may threaten to take custody of the children, or they may use the children to guilt the victim into staying with them.
5. Playing on feelings of love and obligation.
Narcissists often play on their victims’ feelings of love and obligation in order to keep them under control.
They may make promises of change or pled with their victims not to leave them, using whatever tactics they can muster up.
6. Manipulating feelings of guilt and shame.
Narcissists may also use manipulation tactics such as guilt and shame in order to keep their victims under control.
They may make the victim feel like they are responsible for all the problems in the relationship or that they are not good enough for anyone else.
7. Pretending to be repentant or remorseful.
Narcissists may also pretend to be repentant or remorseful in order to get their victims back under control.
They may apologize for their past behavior and promise not to do it again, but this is usually just a ploy to get the victim to forgive them and stay with them.
8. Creating a sense of dependence on them emotionally/financially/etc..
Finally, narcissists may create a sense of dependence on themselves emotionally, financially, or otherwise in order to keep their victims under control. This can make it difficult for the victim to leave because they will be left without any support from the narcissist
If you find yourself being hovered, be prepared to set boundaries and protect yourself. It can be difficult to break away from a narcissist, but it is possible.
Finally, know that the narcissist will likely try again so stay strong and keep your guard up.