Narcissism is a personality disorder that is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a deep need for admiration and attention.
Those who have NPD tend to see themselves as superior to others and often struggle to form meaningful relationships. One of the most common behaviors of someone with NPD is discarding people in their lives.
In this article, I will explore why narcissists discard people and the impact it can have on those who are discarded.
What is Discard?
Discard is a term used to describe the behavior of a narcissist when they abruptly end a relationship or cut off communication with someone. It can be devastating for the person who is being discarded, as it often happens without warning or explanation. This phase is called discard phase.
The discard can be sudden and leave the person feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. Narcissists are known for their tendency to cycle through relationships quickly, leaving a trail of broken hearts in their wake.
Why Do Narcissists Discard People?
Here are 7 possible reasons why do Narcissists discard you:
1. Lack of Empathy
Narcissists struggle with empathy and often see other people as objects to be used for their own benefit. When someone is no longer useful to them, they have no problem discarding them.
Narcissists tend to view relationships as transactional and only invest in them as long as they are getting something in return.
2. Fear of Abandonment
While it may seem counterintuitive, narcissists are actually very afraid of being abandoned. They fear that someone will leave them before they get a chance to leave first, so they often preemptively end relationships before they can be abandoned themselves.
3. Boredom
Narcissists have a constant need for stimulation and excitement. When a relationship becomes too routine or predictable, they may become bored and seek out a new source of excitement.
This can lead to them discarding their current partner in favor of someone new and more exciting.
4. Need for Control
Narcissists need to feel in control at all times. When they feel like they are losing control in a relationship or that the other person is becoming too independent, they may decide to discard them in order to regain control.
5. Lack of Self-Awareness
Narcissists often lack self-awareness and struggle to recognize the impact their behavior has on others.
They may not even realize that they are discarding someone or may believe that they are justified in doing so.
6. Devaluation
Narcissists tend to idealize people at the beginning of a relationship, but over time, they may begin to devalue them.
This can happen for a variety of reasons, but ultimately, it leads to the narcissist seeing the other person as unworthy of their attention or affection.
This devaluation phase can then lead to the narcissist discarding the other person.
7. New Source of Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists have a constant need for attention and admiration. When they find a new source of narcissistic supply, they may discard their current partner in order to focus on the new source of attention.
The Impact of Narcissistic Discard
Being discarded by a narcissist can be incredibly painful and traumatic. It can leave the person feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. The sudden and unexpected end to a relationship can be difficult to process and can leave the person struggling to make sense of what happened. It can also lead to feelings of low self-worth and self-esteem.
In some cases, the impact of narcissistic discard can be so severe that it can lead to long-term emotional trauma. People who have been discarded by a narcissist may struggle with trust issues and may find it difficult to form new relationships.
They may also experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including flashbacks and anxiety.
In addition to the emotional impact, narcissistic discard can also have practical consequences. If the discarded person was financially dependent on the narcissist or living with them, the sudden end of the relationship can leave them without a home or source of income.
This can lead to financial instability and make it even more difficult for the person to move on from the relationship.
How to Deal with Narcissistic Discard
Dealing with narcissistic discard can be a difficult and painful process, but there are steps that can be taken to cope with the aftermath of the relationship. Here are some strategies that may be helpful:
Recognize the Narcissist’s Behavior
Understanding that the narcissist’s behavior is not about you, but about their own issues, can be a helpful first step. Narcissists often project their own insecurities onto others, and the discard is likely a reflection of their own fear of abandonment, lack of empathy, or need for control.
Seek Support
Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family members can be helpful in coping with the aftermath of a narcissistic discard. Consider seeking professional help as well, such as therapy or counseling.
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can be helpful in coping with the trauma of a narcissistic discard. This can include exercise, healthy eating, and mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga.
Establish Boundaries
If the narcissist continues to try to contact you or interfere in your life, it may be necessary to establish boundaries. This can include blocking their number, avoiding places where you might run into them, or seeking a restraining order if necessary.
Let Go of Blame
It’s natural to want to blame yourself for the end of the relationship, but it’s important to recognize that the narcissist’s behavior is not your fault. Letting go of blame can help you move on from the relationship and start the healing process.
Final Thoughts
Narcissistic discard can be a painful and traumatic experience, but it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. Narcissists struggle with empathy and often see others as objects to be used for their own benefit.
Recognizing this can be a helpful first step in coping with the aftermath of the relationship. Seek support, practice self-care, establish boundaries, and let go of blame to start the healing process and move on from the relationship.