What is Narcissist Discard Phase and Why Narcissist Discards You

Narcissist discard phase
Discard phase of narcissistic abuse

The narcissist discard phase is a term used to describe how a narcissist ends a relationship. The typical pattern of behavior during this phase is the withdrawal of love and support, followed by Idealization and devaluation of the partner. 

Narcissists are just the best, aren’t they? They always know just what to say and do to make you feel special. They’re charming, attentive, and loving. And then, suddenly, they’re gone. They disappear without a trace, leaving you feeling bewildered and heartbroken.

Causes of Narcissist discard phase

Narcissists are the epitome of selfishness. So, it should come as no surprise that when they have had their fill of someone, they will coldly discard them without a second thought. After all, to a narcissist, their partners are nothing more than objects to be used and abused. Here are some possible reasons why narcissists discard their partners or victims:

There are many reasons why narcissists might discard their partners. Here are 11 possible reasons:

  1. They no longer find their partner useful.
  2. They’ve found someone new who they think is better than their current partner.
  3.  They’re feeling restless and want to move on to something new.
  4.  They’re bored with the relationship and think ending it will add some excitement to their life.
  5. They don’t like the way their partner has been treating them and feel they deserve a better narcissistic supply.
  6. . They’ve become bored with them
  7. They feel like they can’t control them anymore
  8. They no longer feel challenged by them
  9. They don’t want to deal with their own flaws that are being reflected back to them
  10. They’re tired of putting up with their partner’s emotional outbursts/neediness/jealousy/etc.
  11.  They want to punish their partner for daring to leave or reject them first.

What do Narcissists do During Discard Phase?

Narcissists do all possible things to hurt and kick out their partners, Here is a list of those things:

1. Criticize and devalue their partners

Narcissists are well-known for their ability to charm and ingratiate themselves with others. However, what goes up must come down, and eventually, the narcissist will turn on their partner. 

This is often referred to as the “discard” phase when the narcissist devalues and criticizes their partner in an attempt to justify breaking off the relationship. The narcissist may say things like “you’re too needy,” or “you’re not good enough for me,” in order to convince themselves and others that they are justified in leaving. 

In reality, however, this is just another manipulative tactic designed to inflict pain and suffering on their former partner.

2. Withdraw love and affection

Narcissists are well-known for their lack of empathy, their self-centeredness, and their tendency to take advantage of others. But one of the most hurtful things about narcissistic behavior is the way that narcissists withdraw love and affection during the discard phase of a relationship. 

After showering their partners with attention and flattery during the initial stages of the relationship, narcissists abruptly withdraw all forms of affection, leaving their partners feeling confused, hurt, and rejected.

3. Disconnect from their partners emotionally

As any relationship expert knows, the key to a successful relationship is communication. When two people are able to share their feelings and learn to understand each other, they can create a strong bond that will last a lifetime. However, there are some people who prefer to communicate by disconnecting from their partner emotionally.

While this may seem like a cruel and heartless way to end a relationship, it is actually a very effective way for narcissists to protect themselves from getting hurt. By disconnecting from their partners emotionally, narcissists can avoid feeling the pain of rejection.

4. Refuse to communicate with their partners

Narcissists are the masters of communication… when it suits them. When they’re trying to win you over, they’ll text you all day and night, call you just to hear your voice, and shower you with compliments. But as soon as they get what they want from you, they go radio silent. They won’t respond to your texts, calls, or any other attempt to contact them.

And if you confront them about it, they’ll gaslight you and make you feel like you’re crazy for even thinking that they would ignore you like that. Narcissists play a cruel game, but unfortunately, it’s one that their partners often fall for. And this happens in the discard phase.

5. Block or delete their partners from social media

Narcissists are well-known for their love of attention. Whether it’s positive or negative, they thrive on being the center of attention. So, it’s no surprise that when a narcissist is finished with a relationship, they often go out of their way to block or delete their former partners from social media.

After all, why would they want to see posts about their exes moving on and being happy without them? It’s much easier for them to simply erase any trace of their existence. That way, they can pretend that the relationship never happened and move on to their next victim.

6. Manipulate others into discrediting their partners

Narcissists are master manipulators. They are experts at getting others to do their dirty work for them. When they are done with a relationship, they will often try to discredit their partner in order to make themselves look better. They will do this by spreading lies and gossip, and by trying to trash their partner’s reputation. In doing so, they hope to make their partner’s life as difficult as possible.

Ultimately, narcissists want to come out of a relationship looking like the victim. They want others to feel sorry for them, and they want their partners to be seen as the bad guys. By playing the victim card, narcissists are able to gain sympathy and support from those around them. And that is exactly what they want.

8. Physically abuse their partners

Narcissists are well-known for their manipulative behavior and callous treatment of others. But did you know that they’re also physical abusers? That’s right — when narcissists are ready to discard their partners, they often resort to violence in order to drive them away.

And why not? After all, what could be more effective at making someone want to leave than being physically abused? It’s the perfect way to ensure that their victim will never want to come back.

How to respond to Narcissist discard?

Being discarded by a narcissist is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. After investing so much time and energy into the relationship, it can feel like a rug has been pulled out from under you. The good news is that there are steps you can take to heal from the experience and move on with your life. 

1. Don’t take it personally.

Being discarded by a narcissist can be a traumatic experience. It can feel like a personal attack, and it’s often hard not to take it personally. However, it’s important to remember that narcissists are master manipulators. They often use people and then discard them when they are no longer useful.

This is not a reflection on you as a person. Rather, it is simply a reflection of the narcissist’s own twisted values. If you have been discarded by a narcissist, try to take solace in the fact that you are not alone. Many others have gone through the same thing, and you will get through this too.

2. Realize that you were just a pawn in their game.

After being discarded by a narcissist, it can be difficult to pick up the pieces and move on. It’s important to remember that you were just a pawn in their game — they never really cared about you, only what you could do for them. The best thing you can do is to learn from the experience and move on.

Strengthen your boundaries and learn to spot the warning signs of narcissistic behavior. That way, you’ll be less likely to get involved with another narcissist in the future. Take this as an opportunity to focus on your own happiness, and don’t let anyone else control your life.

3. Remember that they are the ones who are losing out, not you.

It can be incredibly hurtful when someone we love turns out to be a narcissist. They seem to take pleasure in playing with our emotions, often casting us aside when we no longer serve their purpose. It’s easy to get caught up in the pain of being discarded and to forget that the narcissist is the one who is really losing out.

While it might not feel like it at the time, being discarded by a narcissist is actually a good thing. It means that we are no longer subject to their manipulation and abuse.

We are free to find someone who will truly appreciate us for who we are. In the meantime, we can take comfort in the knowledge that the narcissist is the one who is missing out on a real and meaningful relationship.

4. Stay strong and don’t let them see that they’ve hurt you.

When a narcissist decides to discard you, it can be a crushing blow. You may feel like you’ve been suddenly and inexplicably cut off from the person you love most in the world.

But it’s important to remember that this isn’t about you. Narcissists need constant admiration and attention, and when they don’t get it from you, they will look elsewhere.

It hurts, but the best thing you can do is stay strong. Don’t let them see that they’ve hurt you. Show them that you’re better off without them. Eventually, they’ll move on to someone else and you’ll be able to start rebuilding your life.

5. Learn from the experience and grow stronger because of it.

One way to deal with a narcissist’s discard is to learn from the experience and grow stronger because of it. It can be difficult to see the positive side of things when you’re feeling rejected and alone, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t the end of the world.

Every relationship teaches us something about ourselves, and we can use what we’ve learned from this one to build healthier relationships in the future. If we can approach the situation with openness and willingness to learn, we can come out of it feeling stronger and more self-aware than before.

So, next time you’re faced with a narcissist’s discard, remember that it presents an opportunity for personal growth. Use it as a chance to learn about yourself and what you need in a relationship. With this new knowledge, you’ll be better equipped to create lasting, meaningful connections with others.

6. Don’t contact them anymore and cut all ties.

 This includes texting, calling, emailing, or any other form of communication. By cutting off all contact, you’re sending a clear message that you’re moving on with your life. second, remove them from your social media accounts and delete any photos or videos that you have of them. This will help you to put the past behind you and focus on the future. 

7. Move on with your life and focus on your own happiness.

 The best way to deal with narcissist discard is to move on with your life and focus on your own happiness. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what went wrong or trying to get the narcissist’s approval. Instead, use this opportunity to focus on your own needs and goals.

Invest in your relationships with family and friends, pick up a new hobby, or do something that makes you happy. By taking care of yourself and living your best life, you can show the narcissist that they made a huge mistake by discarding you.

8. Don’t give up on love altogether, there is someone out there for you!

Being discarded by a narcissist can be one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. After months or even years of feeling like you are the most important person in their life, you are suddenly cast aside with no explanation.

It can feel like you have been punched in the gut, and it can be hard to see a way forward. However, it is important to remember that not all relationships are like this. There will be someone out there who will appreciate and value you for who you are. So don’t give up on love altogether — there is someone out there for you!

Temporary or Permanent Narcissistic discard

Narcissists’ discard can be temporary or permanent. If it’s temporary, the narcissist may come back after a period of time, acting as if nothing ever happened. We normally call it Hoovering phase.

This is part of the Narcissistic abuse cycle. It starts from Idealization and passes through the Devaluation phase. Sometimes it ends in Discard Phase.

However, if the narcissistic discard is permanent, it means that the narcissist has truly moved on and has no intention of returning.

Either way, it’s important to be prepared for the possibility of being discarded by a narcissist. By understanding the narcissistic personality type, you can better protect yourself from their hurtful behavior.

Last words

The narcissist discard phase can be an especially difficult time for those who have been in a relationship with a narcissist. If you are experiencing this phase, know that you are not alone. There are many people who have gone through or are currently going through the same thing. You can find support and understanding in the comments section below. 

Additionally, if you need more help or want to talk to someone about your experience, please feel free to reach out to the narcissism support forum on our website. I hope that by sharing our knowledge and experiences I can provide some relief and support during this difficult time.

More readings

  1. 5 Ways to Respond After Being Discarded By a Narcissist
  2. Why Narcissists Discard Their Victims: Exploring the Motives
  3. 8 Reasons a Narcissist Will Come Back After Discarding You


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