The devaluation phase of narcissistic abuse is one of the most confusing and painful experiences that a person can go through. This is the second stage where the narcissist begins to tear down their victim, often using tactics like verbal abuse, humiliation, and isolation.
So what exactly happens during this phase? And how can you protect yourself from it? In this blog post, I will discuss the devaluation phase in detail and offer some tips for dealing with it.
What is the devaluation phase and what happens during it?
The devaluation phase is when the narcissist turns on you. It’s a gradual process at first. They might start to nitpick or criticize you more. They might withdraw their attention and affections, making you feel like you’re not good enough.
If you try to confront them about their behavior, they will gaslight you, making you doubt yourself and your experiences. Eventually, they will engage in full-blown devaluation, which can involve public humiliation, threats, and even physical abuse.
This phase is designed to break your spirit and make you feel completely worthless. It can be incredibly difficult to recover from, but it is possible with the help of a support system and professional help.
Causes of the devaluation phase
There can be many different causes of the devaluation phase, but some of the most common ones include the narcissist’s need for control and domination or their fear of being abandoned.
The narcissist may also feel threatened by the victim’s growing independence and start to devalue them in order to maintain power and control in the relationship.
9 Things Narcissists do during the devaluation phase
Here are the things narcissists do during the second stage of narcissistic abuse
1. They devalue and humiliate you in front of others during the devaluation phase.
When a narcissist enters the devaluation phase of their abuse, they often start to devalue and humiliate their victim in front of others. This can involve things like public humiliation, threats, and even physical abuse.
2. They threaten to leave or hurt you if you don’t do what they want.
Narcissists often use threats to scare their victims into doing what they want. They might threaten to leave you, hurt you, or even take your children away if you don’t comply with their demands. This can be incredibly frightening and coercive, so it’s important to have a support system in place to help you get through it.
3. They use verbal abuse to manipulate and control you.
Narcissists use verbal abuse as a way to manipulate and control their victims. They might call you names, make fun of you, or even insult your family and friends. They do this in order to undermine your self-confidence and make you feel like you’re not good enough.
4. They use guilt trips to get what they want
The narcissist may use guilt trips as a way of manipulating you into doing what they want. For example, they might say things like “I’m the only one who’s ever been there for you” or “You’re not going to leave me, are you?” in order to make you feel guilty and obligated to them.
It’s important not to give in to these demands, since they will only continue to use them as a way of controlling you.
5. They criticize and devalue everything you do.
The narcissist will also start to criticize and devalue everything you do during the devaluation phase. No matter how hard you try, they will always find something to fault in your behavior.
This can be incredibly demoralizing and make it difficult to maintain your self-esteem.
6. They make you feel like you’re crazy or imagining things.
The narcissist will also start gaslighting you during the devaluation phase. This involves making you doubt yourself and your experiences, often by denying that the abuse is happening or insisting that it’s your fault.
This can be incredibly confusing and isolating, making it difficult to seek help.
7. They give you the silent treatment.
One of the most common tactics used by narcissists in the devaluation phase is silent treatment. They will simply ignore you until you give in to their demands or until they feel like talking to you again. This can be incredibly frustrating and emotionally draining.
8. They make fun of or ridicule everything you care about.
The narcissist will also start making fun of or ridiculing everything that matters to you during the devaluation phase.
They might mock your religion, devalue your accomplishments, or laugh at your dreams and aspirations. This can be devastating and cause a lot of self-doubts.
9. They refuse any accountability for their actions
During the devaluation phase, the narcissist will refuse any accountability for their actions. They will blame everything on their victim and refuse to take any responsibility for their own behavior.
This can be very frustrating and confusing, but it’s important to remember that narcissist is never going to take responsibility for their own actions.
Examples of devaluation Phase
One common example of the devaluation phase is gaslighting, which is when the abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own reality and memories.
The aim of the devaluation tactics is to chip away at the victim’s self-esteem until they are completely under the Narcissist’s control.
The second common example of the devaluation phase is when an abuser begins to compare their victim to others. They may say things like “you’re not as pretty as her,” or “you’re not as smart as him.” This is designed to make the victim feel inferior and question their worth.
Another example of the devaluation phase is when an abuser starts to withhold love and affection. They may give their partner the silent treatment, or make them feel like they are not good enough. This is done in order to control and manipulate their victim.
How long does the devaluation Phase last?
As the devaluation stage progresses, the narcissist will become more and more abusive. The psychological manipulation and emotional abuse will become even more intense, and it can be very difficult to break free from the narcissist’s control. In some cases, the devaluation stage may last for years.
What happens if you discard the narcissist in the devalue phase?
If you discard the narcissist during the devaluation phase, they will likely react with anger and rage. The narcissist may also hurl insults and accusations at you, or even threaten physical violence.
It is important to remember that narcissist is never going to take responsibility for their own actions, so walking away is the only safe option.
5 ways to deal with the Devaluation phase
Here are some important tips to deal with the devaluation phase:
1. Remember that the narcissist is never going to take responsibility for their own actions.
This is very important to remember, especially during the devaluation phase when the narcissist is at their most abusive. Narcissist will always blame their victim for everything that goes wrong, and they will never accept any accountability for their own behavior.
2. Don’t give in to the narcissist’s demands.
During the devaluation phase, the narcissist will start using manipulation and coercion to get what they want. They may try to guilt you into doing things you don’t want to do, or they may make threats and ultimatums.
Don’t give in to their demands, because it will only empower them and make them more abusive.
3. Stand up to the narcissist’s abuse.
It can be very difficult to stand up to the narcissist’s abuse, but it is important to do so. Show them that you won’t tolerate their abuse and that you won’t let them control or manipulate you. This will help you regain your power and independence.
4. Get support from friends and family.
It can be very helpful to have support from friends and family during the devaluation phase. Talk to them about what you’re going through and ask for their help in dealing with the narcissist’s abuse.
5. Seek professional help.
If you find that you’re struggling to deal with the devaluation phase on your own, it might be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies for dealing with the narcissist’s abuse and helping you regain your self-esteem
Last words
The devaluation phase can be difficult to endure, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people have gone through this experience and recovered. Share your story with other survivors and let them know that they will get through this too.
Additionally, if you are currently in the devaluation phase or have recently been released from it, please consider sharing your story on our blog or on one of our social media platforms. We would love to hear from you and provide a space for healing and support.
References
- Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Recover from Emotional Abuse, Recognize Narcissists & Manipulators and Break Free Once and for All
- Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: The Complete Guide to Recover From Emotional Abuse, Identify Narcissists, and Overcome Abusive Relationships (Break Free and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships
