The Truth About Flying Monkeys: Are They Just Narcissists in Disguise?

the truth behind flying monkeys

Flying monkeys, in the context of narcissistic abuse, refer to individuals who act as enablers and supporters of the narcissist. They willingly or unknowingly participate in the manipulation and gaslighting tactics employed by the narcissist, further perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Understanding their role is crucial for victims of narcissistic abuse as it helps them recognize that they are not alone in their experiences and provides insight into how these dynamics operate.

The Psychology of Narcissism: Understanding the Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others. Individuals with NPD often exhibit grandiose behaviors, have an excessive sense of entitlement, and manipulate others to maintain their self-image.

To truly understand flying monkeys’ role in narcissistic abuse, it is essential to grasp the characteristics and traits commonly associated with narcissists. These individuals have an insatiable desire for attention and validation from others while lacking genuine empathy or concern for those around them.

The Role of Flying Monkeys in Narcissistic Abuse: How They Enable the Narcissist

Flying monkeys play a significant role in enabling narcissists by acting as intermediaries between them and their victims. These individuals willingly support the manipulative tactics employed by the narcissist without questioning their motives or considering how it affects others.

By aligning themselves with the narcissist’s agenda, flying monkeys provide validation to their behavior while simultaneously invalidating any concerns raised by victims. This enables continued emotional manipulation on behalf of the abuser since they can rely on these enablers to reinforce their distorted reality.


Flying monkeys are the enablers who go bananas just to uphold the narcissist’s delusions of grandeur.

Fahim Chughtai

The Characteristics of Flying Monkeys: Identifying Enablers

Identifying flying monkeys can be challenging since they often present themselves as innocent bystanders or concerned individuals. However, there are common traits and characteristics that can help victims recognize them in their lives.

One characteristic of flying monkeys is their unquestioning loyalty to the narcissist. They will defend the abuser’s actions, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. Additionally, they may exhibit a lack of empathy towards the victim and dismiss their experiences as exaggerations or lies.

It is important to note that not all flying monkeys are aware of their role in enabling abuse. Some may genuinely believe they are helping or protecting the narcissist without understanding the harm they cause to others.

The Tactics of Flying Monkeys: How They Manipulate and Gaslight

Flying monkeys employ various tactics to manipulate and gaslight victims on behalf of the narcissist. Gaslighting involves distorting reality, making victims doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity.

Examples of these tactics include spreading rumors or misinformation about the victim, invalidating their feelings by dismissing them as overreacting or being too sensitive, and attempting to isolate them from support systems by turning friends or family against them.

The impact of these manipulative tactics can be devastating for victims who already struggle with self-doubt due to ongoing emotional abuse from the narcissist themselves.

The Impact of Flying Monkeys on Victims: The Trauma and Emotional Abuse

Being targeted by flying monkeys adds an additional layer of trauma for victims already suffering from narcissistic abuse. It reinforces feelings of isolation since it seems like everyone around them supports the abuser’s narrative while disregarding their pain.

The emotional toll inflicted by flying monkeys can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Victims often find it challenging to trust others again after experiencing such betrayal from those they once considered friends or family members.

The Dynamics of Narcissistic Abuse: The Cycle of Idealization, Devaluation, and Discard

Narcissistic abuse typically follows a cycle that includes idealization, devaluation, and discard. The narcissist initially idealizes their victim, showering them with love and attention to gain their trust. However, as the relationship progresses, the narcissist begins to devalue the victim by criticizing them, belittling their achievements, or even engaging in emotional or physical abuse.



Flying monkeys play a role in this cycle by reinforcing the narcissist’s perspective during both the idealization and devaluation phases. They may contribute to idolizing the narcissist while simultaneously participating in character assassination when it comes time for devaluation.

The Connection Between Narcissism and Cluster B Personality Disorders: Borderline, Histrionic, and Antisocial

Narcissism is closely related to other Cluster B personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). These disorders share common traits like impulsivity, emotional instability, manipulative tendencies, and a lack of empathy.

The presence of these personality disorders within flying monkeys can exacerbate their enabling behavior since they may also exhibit similar traits as those found in narcissists. This further perpetuates the cycle of abuse by creating an environment where manipulation is normalized.


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The Healing Process for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse: Breaking Free from Flying Monkeys

Healing from narcissistic abuse requires a multifaceted approach that involves both internal reflection and seeking external support. Recognizing that you are not alone in your experiences is crucial for victims who have been targeted by flying monkeys.

Taking steps towards healing involves setting boundaries with enablers while surrounding yourself with individuals who validate your experiences rather than dismiss them. Seeking professional help from therapists specializing in trauma can provide invaluable guidance throughout this process.

The Importance of Boundaries and No Contact: Protecting Yourself from the Narcissist and Flying Monkeys

Establishing and maintaining boundaries is essential for protecting yourself from further abuse. This includes setting clear limits on what behavior you will tolerate from both the narcissist and their enablers.

In some cases, going no contact with the narcissist and their flying monkeys may be necessary to break free from the cycle of abuse. This can be a challenging decision to make, but it is often crucial for victims’ well-being and recovery.

The Truth About Flying Monkeys and Narcissism in Disguise

Understanding flying monkeys’ role in narcissistic abuse is vital for victims seeking validation, support, and healing. By recognizing these enablers’ characteristics, tactics, and impact on victims, individuals can begin to break free from the cycle of abuse.

Awareness and education on this topic are crucial not only for those directly affected by narcissistic abuse but also for society as a whole. By shedding light on these dynamics, we can work towards creating a safer environment where manipulation is not tolerated or enabled.

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