Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological manipulation and control that occurs in relationships where one person has narcissistic traits or a narcissistic personality disorder. It involves tactics such as gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional abuse, which are used to gain power and control over the victim. The Narcissist’s Army refers to the group of individuals (flying monkeys) who support and enable the narcissist in their abusive behavior.
The Narcissist’s Army is made up of people who either willingly or unknowingly aid the narcissist in their manipulative tactics. These individuals are often referred to as “flying monkeys.” They act as extensions of the narcissist, carrying out their bidding and furthering their agenda. Understanding the role of flying monkeys is crucial for victims of narcissistic abuse, as it helps shed light on why certain people may be acting against them.
What are Flying Monkeys?
Flying monkeys are individuals who serve as enablers or supporters of a narcissist’s abusive behavior towards others. The term “flying monkey” originates from The Wizard of Oz, where the Wicked Witch sends her winged monkeys to do her bidding. In a similar way, flying monkeys act on behalf of the narcissist by spreading rumors, engaging in character assassination, or even directly confronting and attacking the victim.
The Role of Flying Monkeys in Narcissistic Abuse
Flying monkeys play a significant role in enabling and perpetuating narcissistic abuse. They provide validation for the abuser’s actions by reinforcing their distorted reality and gaslighting techniques. By doing so, they contribute to isolating and discrediting victims while bolstering the power dynamic between them and the abuser.
The impact on victims can be devastating when faced with an entire army working against them at every turn. Flying monkeys can cause immense emotional distress by spreading false information about them or attempting to manipulate their perception of reality. This can lead to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and isolation for the victim.
The Different Types of Flying Monkeys
1. Enabler Flying Monkey: This type of flying monkey actively supports and enables the narcissist’s abusive behavior. They may make excuses for the narcissist’s actions or downplay the severity of their behavior.
2. Covert Flying Monkey: Covert flying monkeys are more subtle in their support for the narcissist. They may appear sympathetic towards the victim but secretly provide information or assistance to the abuser behind their back.
3. Sycophant Flying Monkey: Sycophant flying monkeys seek personal gain or favor from the narcissist by aligning themselves with them and doing their bidding without question.
4. Malicious Flying Monkey: Malicious flying monkeys actively engage in attacking and harming the victim on behalf of the narcissist, often using aggressive tactics such as spreading rumors or engaging in character assassination.
5. Oblivious Flying Monkey: Oblivious flying monkeys are individuals who unknowingly support and enable the narcissistic abuse due to a lack of awareness or understanding about what is truly happening.
The Enabler Flying Monkey
Enabler flying monkeys play a crucial role in maintaining and perpetuating narcissistic abuse dynamics within relationships or social circles. They often have a close relationship with both the abuser and victim, making it difficult for victims to recognize their true intentions.
Characteristics of an enabler flying monkey include being overly protective of the abuser, dismissing concerns raised by victims as exaggerations or misunderstandings, minimizing abusive behaviors, and refusing to hold the abuser accountable for their actions.
To identify an enabler flying monkey, pay attention to how they respond when you express your concerns about your relationship with a narcissistic individual. If they consistently defend or make excuses for that person’s behavior while disregarding your feelings, it is likely that they are acting as an enabler.
Dealing with an enabler flying monkey can be challenging, as they may not be open to hearing your perspective or acknowledging the abuse. It is essential to set boundaries and limit contact with them if necessary. Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide validation and guidance during this process.
The Covert Flying Monkey
Covert flying monkeys are more difficult to identify because they often appear sympathetic towards the victim while secretly supporting the narcissist’s abusive behavior. They may act as confidants or offer a listening ear to gain information about the victim’s vulnerabilities, which they then pass on to the abuser.
Characteristics of a covert flying monkey include being overly interested in your relationship with the narcissist, subtly undermining your self-esteem or confidence, and frequently sharing personal information about you with others without your consent.
To identify a covert flying monkey, pay attention to their actions rather than their words. Notice if they consistently seem well-informed about private details of your life that you have only shared with a select few individuals.
When dealing with a covert flying monkey, it is crucial to guard your personal information and limit what you share with them. Be cautious about trusting them fully until you have assessed their true intentions. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who prioritize your well-being over any allegiance to the narcissist.
The Sycophant Flying Monkey
Sycophant flying monkeys seek personal gain or favor from the narcissist by aligning themselves closely with them and doing their bidding without question. They often lack independent thought and blindly follow whatever instructions or demands are given by the abuser.
Characteristics of a sycophant flying monkey include excessive flattery towards the narcissist, unquestioning loyalty even in situations where it goes against their own values or beliefs, and actively seeking opportunities for praise or recognition from the abuser.
Identifying a sycophant flying monkey can be relatively straightforward, as they are often very obvious in their attempts to gain favor with the narcissist. They may constantly seek validation from the abuser and go to great lengths to please them.
Dealing with a sycophant flying monkey requires setting clear boundaries and limiting contact with them if necessary. It is essential to recognize that their loyalty lies primarily with the narcissist, and attempting to change their perspective or allegiance may be futile.
The Malicious Flying Monkey
Malicious flying monkeys actively engage in attacking and harming the victim on behalf of the narcissist. They may spread rumors, engage in character assassination, or even resort to physical aggression towards the victim.
Characteristics of a malicious flying monkey include engaging in smear campaigns against the victim, spreading false information about them, actively seeking opportunities to harm or sabotage their reputation or relationships, and displaying aggressive behavior towards the victim.
Identifying a malicious flying monkey can be challenging because they often operate covertly and behind closed doors. Pay attention to any individuals who consistently display hostility towards you without any apparent reason or justification.
When dealing with a malicious flying monkey, it is crucial not to engage directly with them as it may escalate the situation further. Focus on protecting yourself by documenting any instances of harassment or abuse and seeking legal advice if necessary. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can provide emotional support during this challenging time.
The Oblivious Flying Monkey
Oblivious flying monkeys are individuals who unknowingly support and enable narcissistic abuse due to a lack of awareness or understanding about what is truly happening. They may genuinely believe that they are acting in everyone’s best interest without realizing how their actions contribute to perpetuating abusive dynamics.
Characteristics of an oblivious flying monkey include being easily manipulated by the narcissist’s charm or charisma, lacking critical thinking skills when it comes to assessing situations objectively, and dismissing or ignoring any evidence or concerns raised about the narcissist’s behavior.
Identifying an oblivious flying monkey can be challenging because they genuinely believe that they are acting in a helpful or supportive manner. Pay attention to how they respond when you express your concerns about the narcissist’s behavior. If they consistently dismiss or minimize your feelings, it may indicate their obliviousness to the abuse.
Dealing with an oblivious flying monkey requires patience and understanding. Educate them about narcissistic abuse and its impact on victims, providing them with resources and information to help them gain a better understanding of the situation. However, it is essential to prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries if their actions continue to harm you.
How to Identify and Deal with Flying Monkeys
Identifying flying monkeys can be challenging, as their actions may not always be overtly malicious or obvious. However, there are some common signs that can help you recognize their presence:
1. They consistently defend or make excuses for the abuser’s behavior.
2. They spread rumors or engage in character assassination against you.
3. They dismiss your concerns as exaggerations or misunderstandings.
4. They refuse to hold the abuser accountable for their actions.
5. They consistently align themselves with the abuser without questioning their motives.
When dealing with flying monkeys, it is crucial to prioritize your own well-being and safety:
1. Set clear boundaries: Clearly communicate what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable from those around you.
2. Limit contact: Minimize interactions with flying monkeys who continue to support abusive dynamics.
3.Seek support: Surround yourself with trusted friends, family members, therapists, or support groups who understand narcissistic abuse dynamics and can provide validation and guidance during this difficult time.
4.Document instances of abuse: Keep a record of any incidents involving flying monkeys’ harassment or attacks against you for future reference if needed.
5.Self-care: Focus on self-care activities that promote your emotional and physical well-being, such as exercise, therapy, meditation, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
Breaking Free from the Narcissist’s Army
Breaking free from the narcissist’s army is crucial for victims of narcissistic abuse to regain their sense of self and rebuild their lives. Recognizing the role of flying monkeys in enabling and perpetuating abusive dynamics is a significant step towards breaking free.
It is essential for victims to seek support from trusted individuals who understand narcissistic abuse dynamics and can provide validation and guidance during this challenging time. There are also numerous resources available online, such as support groups, forums, books, and articles that can provide further information on healing from narcissistic abuse.
Remember that you are not alone in your journey towards healing. With time, support, and self-care practices in place, it is possible to break free from the narcissist’s army and reclaim your life.