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Narcissist Hunter > Blog > Relationship with a narcissist > What It’s Like To Be In a Relationship With a Covert Narcissist
Relationship with a narcissist

What It’s Like To Be In a Relationship With a Covert Narcissist

Fahim Chughtai
Last updated: 2023/03/18 at 6:47 AM
Fahim Chughtai
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What It’s Like To Be In a Relationship With a Covert Narcissist
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Are you feeling like you’re constantly questioning your own reality in your relationship? This could be a sign that you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist.

Relationships are complicated, and they can be even more complicated when you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist. Narcissism is a personality disorder that is characterized by a sense of entitlement, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy for others.

Covert narcissism is a subtype of narcissism that is more difficult to detect because it’s hidden beneath a facade of humility and self-deprecation. In this blog post, we’ll take a closer look at what it’s like to be in a relationship with a covert narcissist and provide tips on how to cope.

What is Covert Narcissism?

Covert narcissism is a form of narcissism that is characterized by a person who appears humble and self-effacing on the surface, but who is actually very self-absorbed, entitled, and lacking in empathy.

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Unlike overt narcissists, who are more obvious in their behavior and attitudes, covert narcissists are much more difficult to detect because they are masters at hiding their true selves. They often come across as very charming, kind, and considerate, but behind closed doors, they can be manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive.

What is it Like to Be in a Relationship with a Covert Narcissist?

Relationship with a covert narcissist
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Being in a relationship with a covert narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Here are five things to know about what it’s like:

1.The Love-Bombing Phase

At the beginning of the relationship, a covert narcissist may love-bomb their partner, showering them with attention and affection.

This phase can feel exciting and romantic, but it’s important to be aware that it’s often a tactic used by narcissists to gain control and manipulate their partner.

2. The Emotional Manipulation

Covert narcissists are skilled at emotional manipulation and gaslighting, which can make their partner feel like they’re going crazy.

They might use tactics like blame-shifting, projecting their own faults onto their partner, or playing the victim to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

3. The Lack of Empathy

Covert narcissists have a limited capacity for empathy and may struggle to understand or respond to their partner’s emotions.

They might invalidate their partner’s feelings, minimize their experiences, or use their partner’s vulnerability as a way to gain power.

4. The Need for Control

Covert narcissists often have a strong need for control in their relationships, which can manifest in a variety of ways.

They might isolate their partner from friends and family, micromanage their partner’s behavior, or use money and gifts as a way to manipulate their partner.

5. The Exhaustion and Confusion

Being in a relationship with a covert narcissist can be emotionally exhausting and confusing.

Their manipulative behavior can leave their partner feeling like they’re constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what to expect next.

Over time, this can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and a loss of self-worth.

How to Cope with Being in a Relationship with a Covert Narcissist?

If you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people have been in relationships with narcissists, and there are resources available to help you cope.

Here are some tips on how to deal with a covert narcissist:

1. Educate Yourself

The more you know about narcissism and how it manifests in relationships, the better equipped you’ll be to cope with a covert narcissist.

There are many books, websites, and support groups available that can provide you with valuable information and resources.

2. Set Boundaries

Covert narcissists are experts at pushing boundaries. It’s important to set clear boundaries with them and stick to them. This might mean limiting contact with them, setting limits on what you’re willing to do for them, or refusing to engage in certain behaviors.

3. Practice Self-Care

Being in a relationship with a covert narcissist can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to prioritize your own well-being.

This might mean taking time for yourself to do things you enjoy, getting regular exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep.

4. Don’t Engage in Their Games

Covert narcissists thrive on drama and attention, and they might try to pull you into their games. It’s important not to engage in their drama and to avoid getting pulled into their manipulations.

5. Consider Ending the Relationship

If the relationship is causing you significant emotional distress, it might be time to consider ending it.

This can be a difficult decision, but it’s important to prioritize your own well-being and to seek out support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, being in a relationship with a covert narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. It’s important to educate yourself about narcissism, set clear boundaries, prioritize self-care, avoid engaging in their games, and consider ending the relationship if it’s causing you significant emotional distress.

Remember, you’re not alone, and there are resources available to help you cope.

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By Fahim Chughtai
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A psychologist, and narcissist hunter. Writing for the people who need help to fight narcissists in their life.
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