Narcissist Hunter
  • Narcissism

    Join Narcissist Hunter Forum

    You can ask questions about Narcissism, Narcissistic abuse, and Toxic Relationships. 

    Join Community

    Quick Links

    • Relationship with a narcissist
    • Narcissism
    • Narcissistic abuse
    • Types of Narcissists
    • Latest Research on Narcissism
    • Manipulation Tactics
    • Narcissist parents
    • Healing hub
    • Toxic Relationships

    Pages

    • About
    • Contact
    • Narcissist hunter Newsletter
    • Narcissist Hunter YouTube Channel
    • Relationships
    • Quizzes
    • Dating
    • Faqs
    • Quotes
    • Toxic Relationships
    Reading: How to Communicate with a Narcissist: The JADE Technique

    Narcissist hunter is Narcissism blog to share knowledge and information about Narcissism, Narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Hunt Your Narc.

  • Choose Topics
  • Dating
    Dating
    The Dating category is dedicated to providing information and support for individuals who are navigating the dating world, particularly with a focus on dealing with…
    Show More
    Top News
    5 Most Trusted Christian Dating Sites in 2023
    Discover the 5 Most Trusted Christian Dating Sites
    June 5, 2023
    7 Biggest First Date Mistakes That Turn Women OFF
    7 Biggest First Date Mistakes That Turn Women OFF
    July 9, 2023
    5 Differences Between Hearing and Listening
    5 Differences Between Hearing and Listening
    July 9, 2023
    Latest News
    The Comprehensive Guide to Modern Dating
    August 12, 2023
    Mastering the Art of Online First Impressions in the Dating Sphere
    August 11, 2023
    5 Differences Between Hearing and Listening
    July 9, 2023
    7 Biggest First Date Mistakes That Turn Women OFF
    July 9, 2023
  • Relationships
  • Premium Newsletter
  • Quizzes
  • Free Worksheets

You might like

  • 7 Terrible Crimes Narcissists Carry Out During Discard Phase
    by Fahim Chughtai
  • How to Communicate with a Narcissist: The JADE Technique
    by Fahim Chughtai
Reading: How to Communicate with a Narcissist: The JADE Technique
Take Narcissism Test
Narcissist HunterNarcissist Hunter
Aa
  • Home
  • Web stories
  • Forum
  • Narcissism
  • Dating
  • Relationships
  • Narcissist parents
  • Narcissistic abuse
  • Quizzes
  • Best Narcissism Quotes
  • My Bookmarks
  • Narcissist Hunter Premium Newsletter
  • Contact
Search
  • Forum
  • Narcissist Hunter Premium Newsletter
  • Best Narcissism Quotes
  • My Bookmarks
  • Customize Interests
  • Narcissism
  • Narcissistic abuse
  • Types of Narcissists
  • Latest Research on Narcissism
  • Healing hub
  • Toxic Relationships
  • Co-Parenting
  • Codependency
  • Dating
  • Divorcing a Narcissist
  • Faqs
  • Healing hub
  • Quizzes
  • Quotes
  • Relationships
Have an existing account? Sign In
Follow US
  • Legal Stuff
  • Privacy Policy
  • Manage Cookies
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Partners
Copyright © 2023 Narcissisthunters.com All Rights Reserved.
Narcissist Hunter > Blog > Healing hub > How to Communicate with a Narcissist: The JADE Technique

How to Communicate with a Narcissist: The JADE Technique

Fahim Chughtai
Last updated: 2023/09/14 at 10:58 PM
By Fahim Chughtai Healing hub
Share
7 Min Read
How to Communicate with a Narcissist: The JADE Technique

Communicating with a narcissist can be a challenging and often emotionally draining experience. Narcissists tend to be self-absorbed, lack empathy, and have a strong need for admiration. They can be manipulative, defensive, and resistant to feedback, making it difficult to engage in productive conversations with them.

Contents
Understanding NarcissismThe JADE Technique: Justify, Argue, Defend, ExplainTips for Effective Communication with NarcissistsConclusion Subscribe Newsletter!

However, the JADE technique (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) can be a valuable tool for navigating interactions with narcissists and achieving more positive outcomes. In this blog post, we will delve into the JADE technique, explaining its principles and providing real-life examples to illustrate its effectiveness.

Understanding Narcissism

Before delving into the JADE technique, it’s essential to have a solid grasp of narcissism. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

While not everyone with narcissistic traits meets the clinical criteria for NPD, many exhibit these characteristics, making communication with them particularly challenging.

Key narcissistic traits include:

  1. Grandiosity: Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others.
  2. Need for Admiration: They crave constant admiration and validation, becoming agitated when they don’t receive it.
  3. Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to understand or care about the feelings and needs of others.
  4. Manipulative Behavior: They may employ manipulation, guilt-tripping, and other tactics to achieve their goals.
  5. Defensiveness: Narcissists can become defensive and hostile when confronted or criticized.

Given these traits, it’s evident why communicating with a narcissist can be a formidable task. However, the JADE technique can be a valuable tool for navigating these conversations more effectively.

More Read

4 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
4 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
10 Ways To Set Boundaries With a Narcissist Effectively 
Join Narcissism And Narcissistic Abuse Forum 
15 Powerful Novels About Narcissism and Narcissists
The Codependency Workbook: A Guided Journey to Healthy Relationships

The JADE Technique: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain

The JADE technique is an acronym representing four key principles:

  1. Justify: Provide a brief and concise justification for your thoughts, feelings, or actions without getting lost in excessive details or defenses.
  2. Argue: Avoid engaging in arguments or debates with the narcissist, as this often escalates conflicts.
  3. Defend: Refrain from becoming overly defensive or reactive during the conversation.
  4. Explain: Offer a simple and straightforward explanation for your perspective.

The core of the JADE technique is maintaining a calm and assertive demeanor while setting boundaries and expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly. Now, let’s explore each component of the JADE technique with real-life examples to illustrate its effectiveness.

1. Justify

When justifying your thoughts, feelings, or actions to a narcissist, keep it brief and focused on your perspective. Over-explaining or defending yourself excessively can lead to unnecessary conflicts. Here’s an example:

Example 1:

Narcissist: “You never support me in anything I do!”

You: “I have my own commitments and responsibilities, and sometimes I need to prioritize them.”

In this example, you provide a concise justification for your actions without getting caught in a lengthy argument.

2. Argue

Arguing with a narcissist can be counterproductive since they often thrive on conflict and may not be open to changing their viewpoint. Instead of engaging in an argument, it’s more helpful to assert your perspective calmly. Here’s an example:

Example 2:

Narcissist: “You’re always criticizing me!”

You: “I’m sharing my perspective, but I’m not trying to criticize you. I’d like us to have a constructive conversation.”

By not getting drawn into an argument, you maintain a more productive tone in the conversation.

3. Defend

When a narcissist attacks or criticizes you, it’s natural to want to defend yourself. However, getting overly defensive can escalate the conflict. Instead, respond assertively while setting boundaries. Here’s an example:

Example 3:

Narcissist: “You’re just saying that because you’re jealous of my success!”

You: “I’m not jealous; I’m happy for your success. Let’s discuss this without making assumptions about each other.”

In this example, you defend your position without becoming overly defensive or attacking back.

4. Explain

Explaining your perspective is an essential part of the JADE technique. However, keep your explanations clear and concise to avoid getting bogged down in unnecessary details. A straightforward explanation can help the narcissist better understand your viewpoint.

Example 4:

Narcissist: “Why do you always need so much time alone?”

You: “I value alone time to recharge and reflect. It helps me be more present when we’re together.”

By explaining your need for alone time in a straightforward manner, you provide insight into your perspective.

Tips for Effective Communication with Narcissists

While the JADE technique can be a valuable tool for communicating with narcissists, there are additional tips that can enhance your effectiveness in these interactions:

  1. Choose the Right Time: Timing is crucial. Pick a time when both you and the narcissist are calm and not in the midst of a conflict.
  2. Stay Calm and Patient: Narcissists may try to provoke emotional reactions. Stay composed and patient, maintaining your boundaries.
  3. Use “I” Statements: Express your feelings and needs using “I” statements, which can make your communication less accusatory and more about your experiences.
  4. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and stick to them. Narcissists may test your limits, so consistency is key.
  5. Practice Active Listening: Try to understand the narcissist’s perspective, even if you disagree. This can show that you respect their viewpoint.
  6. Consider Seeking Professional Help: If communication remains consistently challenging or escalates into emotional abuse, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor.

Conclusion

Communicating with a narcissist can be challenging, but it is possible to navigate these interactions effectively using the JADE technique. By Justifying, Avoiding Arguments, Defending without defensiveness, and Explaining your perspective clearly and assertively, you can foster more productive conversations with narcissists.

Remember to remain calm, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care when dealing with challenging individuals. Ultimately, effective communication with narcissists requires patience, practice, and a commitment to maintaining your own emotional well-being.

I recommend to watch the Ellen Biros (LCSW) guide on YouTube , how to use this technique effectively.

🤞 Subscribe Newsletter!

Check your inbox or spam folder to confirm your subscription.

Share This Article
Facebook Twitter Pinterest Whatsapp Whatsapp LinkedIn Tumblr Reddit Telegram Email Copy Link Print
By Fahim Chughtai
Follow:
A psychologist, and narcissist hunter. Writing for the people who need help to fight narcissists in their life.
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Healing hub
4 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Healing hub

4 Stages Of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai September 11, 2023
10 Ways To Set Boundaries With a Narcissist Effectively
Healing hub

10 Ways To Set Boundaries With a Narcissist Effectively 

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai May 7, 2023
Join Narcissism And Narcissistic Abuse Forum
Healing hub

Join Narcissism And Narcissistic Abuse Forum 

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai April 24, 2023
15 powerful novels about narcissism and narcissists
Healing hub

15 Powerful Novels About Narcissism and Narcissists

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai April 18, 2023
Breaking the codependency cycle workbook
Healing hub

The Codependency Workbook: A Guided Journey to Healthy Relationships

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai April 11, 2023
Therapy For Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Healing hub

The Road to Recovery: How Therapy Can Help Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Fahim Chughtai Fahim Chughtai March 30, 2023
  • Disclaimer
  • Editorial Policy
  • Forum
  • Privacy policy
  • Advertise
  • Sitemap
  • Guest Posting

Narcissism

  • Relationship with a narcissist
  • Narcissism
  • Narcissistic abuse
  • Types of Narcissists
  • Latest Research on Narcissism
  • Manipulation Tactics
  • Narcissist parents
  • Healing hub
  • Toxic Relationships

Topics

  • Relationships
  • Quizzes
  • Dating
  • Faqs
  • Quotes
  • Toxic Relationships

Follow Us On

Facebook Twitter Youtube Instagram Linkedin

About Narcissist Hunter

Narcissist hunter is Narcissism blog to share knowledge and information about Narcissism, Narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Hunt Your Narc.

Copyright © 2023 Narcissisthunters.com Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Register Lost your password?