Narcissistic rage is a term first coined by Heinz Kohut in 1972. It’s used to describe the reaction of a narcissist to criticism or setback. Narcissists can be very sensitive to criticism and often react with anger, resentment, and aggression. If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know how destructive narcissistic rage can be. In this blog post, I will explore the signs of narcissistic rage, the triggers that cause it, and how to deal with it effectively.
Narcissistic rage is a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is a perceived threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or worth.
What is the Narcissistic Rage?
Narcissistic rage is a reaction to real or perceived rejection, criticism, or defeat. It is characterized by feelings of anger, humiliation, and entitlement.
Narcissistic rage can be triggered by something as small as someone looking at you the wrong way or disagreeing with you. When narcissistic rage is triggered, it may cause the person to lash out in an aggressive or violent way. In some cases, narcissistic rage may lead to self-destructive behaviors such as Substance abuse.
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Narcissistic rage is not a diagnosable mental disorder, but it is a symptom of some personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder. While anyone can experience narcissistic rage, it is more common in people with certain personality traits, such as a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, and an inflated ego.
Signs of narcissistic rage
Some common signs of narcissistic rage include:
1. Explosive anger
The most common sign of narcissistic rage is explosive anger. This can manifest as yelling, screaming, throwing things, or even physical violence.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to be aware of the signs of narcissistic rage and know how to respond to them effectively.
2. Verbally abusive behavior
Narcissistic rage can manifest itself in several ways, but one of the most common is verbally abusive behavior. This can take the form of yelling, name-calling, blaming, and berating.
It’s an attempt to control the situation and regain power by putting the other person down. Narcissistic rage is often disproportionate to the situation and can be unpredictable and dangerous.
3. Threatening or violent behavior
When someone is experiencing narcissistic rage, they may lash out and threaten or act violently toward others. This behavior can be extremely frightening and can leave the person that it is directed at feeling helpless and scared.
It is important to remember that this type of behavior is not normal and is a sign that the person is in a lot of pain.
4. Destructive behavior, such as drinking or drug abuse
One sign of narcissistic rage is destructive behavior, such as drinking or drug abuse. This type of behavior can be very harmful to the individual engaging in it, as well as to those around them.
It can also be indicative of a much deeper emotional problem and is something that should be addressed if it is observed.
5. Turning the rage on oneself, such as through self-harming behaviors
Narcissistic rage can also lead to self-destructive behaviors such as self-harming behaviors. This includes behaviors such as cutting, burning or hitting oneself.
These behaviors are often a way of trying to cope with the intense emotions that are associated with narcissistic rage.
6. Narcissistic rage eyes
Narcissistic rage can often be accompanied by a very intense look in the eyes. This look can be very frightening and can be used as a way to intimidate or scare others. If you see this look, it’s best to remove yourself from the situation if possible.
What triggers Narcissistic rage( Causes of narcissistic rage)
5 triggers of narcissistic rage are the following:
1. When you don’t do what they want
One of the most common triggers for narcissistic rage is when you don’t do what they want. Narcissist often has a sense of entitlement and expects to be able to control those around them. When you don’t comply with their demands, it can lead to narcissistic rage.
2. When they’re criticized
Narcissists are very sensitive to criticism and often can’t handle even the slightest bit of negativity.
When someone criticizes them, it can trigger narcissistic rage as a way of trying to regain power and control.
3. When they feel rejected
Narcissists need a lot of attention and validation from others in order to feel good about themselves.
When they feel rejected, it can lead to narcissistic rage as a way of trying to get the attention and validation they need.
4. When they’re challenged or confronted
Narcissists have a very inflated sense of self-worth and often see themselves as superior to others.
When someone challenges or confronts them, it can lead to narcissistic rage as a way of trying to maintain their superior status.
5. When they experience a loss of control
Narcissists like to be in control at all times and any hint of losing control can lead to narcissistic rage. This could be something as small as someone changing the channel when they’re watching TV or not letting them have their way in an argument.
Knowing the triggers that can cause narcissistic rage is important so that you can avoid them if possible. However, it’s also important to know how to respond effectively if narcissistic rage does occur.
Long-term effects of narcissistic rage
The long-term effects of narcissistic rage can be very damaging both to the individual experiencing it and to those around them. Some of the long-term effects can include:
- Alcohol or drug abuse
- Destructive behavior, such as eating disorders, self-harm, or reckless spending
- Relationship problems, such as divorce or being isolated from friends and family
- Emotional problems such as depression or anxiety
- Difficulty trusting others
Examples of narcissistic rage
Narcissistic rage can often be very frightening and it’s important to know how to respond if narcissistic rage does occur. Here are a few examples of narcissistic rage in action:
1. The individual becomes verbally abusive, often using insults or threats
2. They may become physically violent, either towards others or themselves
3. They may become extremely demanding and try to control everything and everyone around them
4. They may withdraw completely and become emotionally unavailable
Knowing how to respond to narcissistic rage is essential in order to diffuse the situation and avoid further damage.
How to Respond to Narcissistic Rage?
Here are some ways to deal with Narcissistic Rage:
1. Stay calm and avoid getting defensive
The first and most important thing you can do when responding to narcissistic rage is to keep your cool. It can be difficult at the moment, but it’s important to remember that the narcissist is trying to provoke a reaction from you.
If you react in anger or frustration, they will only feel validated in their own anger and become even more abusive. Stay calm and collected, even if it feels impossible.
2. Avoid arguing or trying to reason with them
Once you have calmed yourself down, it is important not to engage further with the narcissist. This means no arguing, no trying to reason with them, and no trying to get them to see your side of things.
Engaging further will only fuel their narcissistic rage and make the situation worse. It’s best to walk away or remove yourself from the situation if possible.
3. Avoid reacting in a way that will escalate the situation
If narcissistic rage is not dealt with in a constructive manner, it can easily lead to further emotional and physical abuse.
It’s important to avoid reacting in a way that will escalate the situation, such as becoming verbally or physically abusive or giving in to the narcissist’s demands.
By remaining calm and collected and walking away if possible, you can diffuse the situation and help to protect yourself from further abuse.
4. Remove yourself from the situation if possible
If possible, remove yourself from the situation. This may not be possible in all cases, but it is the best option possible. If you can remove yourself from the situation, do so.
If you are not able to remove yourself, try to keep a calm and neutral demeanor. Avoid reacting in a way that will further escalate the situation.
5. Seek Outside Help If Necessary
If the narcissistic rage is severe or if it happens frequently, it’s important to seek outside help. This could mean therapy, medication, or both.
A professional can help you deal with narcissistic rage in a healthy way and can also provide support for any other mental health issues you may be dealing with. Narcissistic rage is not something you have to deal with on your own.
How long does Narcissistic Rage last?
Narcissistic rage can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours or even days in some cases. However, it’s important to remember that the effects of narcissistic rage can be long-term, so it’s best to seek help if the rage is severe or happens frequently.
Craziest things Narcissists do in a Narcissistic Rage
- Throw things
- Verbally abuse others
- Damage to property or belongings
- Make threats
How is narcissistic rage different than anger?
Narcissistic rage is a term used to describe a specific type of anger that is caused by narcissistic injury. This is when the narcissist feels as if they have been wronged or attacked in some way.
Can anger management classes help narcissists deal with narcissistic rage?
There is no definitive answer, as narcissistic rage can be a very complex and nuanced issue. However, some people with narcissistic traits may benefit from anger management classes in order to learn how to deal with their narcissistic rage in a healthy way.
Can narcissists recover from narcissistic rage episodes?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the recovery process will vary depending on the individual. However, there are several things that can help narcissistic rage episodes:
1. Identification and understanding of triggers
If you can identify what triggers your narcissistic rage episodes, you can work to avoid those triggers or manage them more effectively. This takes time and effort, but it is an important step in recovering from narcissistic rage.
Narcissistic rage can be very emotionally and physically draining. It’s important to take care of yourself both during and after narcissistic rage episodes. This could mean taking time for yourself, getting regular exercise and relaxation, and eating a healthy diet.
Therapy can be very beneficial for recovering from narcissistic rage episodes. A therapist can help you understand and deal with the underlying causes of your narcissistic rage, as well as provide support during the healing process.
So, what do you do if you think you’re the victim of narcissistic rage? The first step is to get away from the situation. If you can, remove yourself from the vicinity of the narcissist and go somewhere safe.
Once you’re in a safe place, take some time for yourself to calm down and gather your thoughts. You may also want to seek out professional help to deal with any aftermath or trauma that resulted from the incident. Finally, share your story with others who have gone through a similar experience; talking about it can be cathartic and healing.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of narcissistic rage? What was your experience like? Share your story in the comments box below.