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Narcissist Hunter > Blog > Relationship with a narcissist > The Narcissistic Wife: Signs, Traits, And How To Deal
Relationship with a narcissist

The Narcissistic Wife: Signs, Traits, And How To Deal

Fahim Chughtai
Last updated: 2023/03/09 at 3:15 AM
Fahim Chughtai
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Who is a Narcissistic wife, signs, traits and how to deal with her
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Are you feeling like your wife is always all about herself and demands constant validation and attention from you? It’s possible that you may be dealing with a Narcissistic wife.

 Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. In this blog post, we will explore the signs and traits of a narcissistic wife and provide tips on how to deal with this challenging situation.

Who is a Narcissistic wife?

A Narcissistic wife is a woman who exhibits the characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Narcissistic traits, including a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and displays Narcissistic behaviors in her marriage. 

9 signs of a Narcissistic wife

Here are 9 signs of a narcissistic wife
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Here are 9 signs of a Narcissistic wife:

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1. Narcissistic wife thrives on drama and creates chaos in the relationship.

A narcissistic wife craves attention and thrives on drama. She may create conflicts, fights, or disagreements to make herself the center of attention.

She enjoys being the one who has all the attention and drama in the relationship, and she may even escalate conflicts to get that attention.

2. Narcissistic wife gives compliments with an ulterior motive.

A narcissistic wife’s compliments may seem genuine at first, but they often come with an ulterior motive. She may use compliments as a way to manipulate her partner and get what she wants.

For example, she may give compliments to make her partner feel guilty or obligated to do something for her.

3. She is highly competitive and wants to be the best at everything.

She may constantly compare herself to others and try to outdo them. This can be exhausting for her partner, who may feel like they can never measure up to her expectations.

4. She engages in abusive behavior and doesn’t take responsibility for it.

A narcissistic wife may engage in abusive behavior towards her partner, such as emotional or verbal abuse. She may blame her partner for her behavior or deny that she is doing anything wrong.

This can be very damaging to the relationship and to her partner’s self-esteem.

5. She lacks empathy and doesn’t consider her husband’s feelings.

A narcissistic wife may lack empathy and not consider her partner’s feelings. She may only focus on her own needs and wants and disregard her partner’s.

This can lead to a one-sided relationship where her partner feels neglected and unimportant.

6. She uses sex appeal to control her partner.

A narcissistic wife may use sex appeal to control her partner. She may use sex as a way to manipulate her partner and get what she wants.

This can be very damaging to the relationship, and it can create a power dynamic where the partner feels obligated to comply with her demands.

7. She criticizes everything her husband does and points out their flaws.

A narcissistic wife may constantly criticize her partner and point out their flaws. She may never be satisfied with what her partner does and may always find something to criticize.

This can be very damaging to the relationship, and it can make her partner feel unappreciated and worthless.

8. She has a quick temper and gets angry over minor things.

A narcissistic wife may have a quick temper and get angry over minor things. She may overreact to small issues and blow them out of proportion.

This can be very difficult for her partner, who may feel like they are walking on eggshells around her.

9. She expects her partner to fulfill all her needs without reciprocating.

A narcissistic wife may expect her partner to fulfill all her needs without reciprocating. She may have unrealistic expectations of her partner and may


General Traits of a Narcissistic wife

Here are some traits of a narcissistic wife
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Here are some traits of a narcissistic wife:

A. Manipulative

A narcissistic wife may be highly skilled at manipulating her partner, using guilt or other tactics to get what she wants.

B. Lack of boundaries

 She may have difficulty respecting boundaries, invading her partner’s personal space and privacy.

C. Gaslighting

A narcissistic wife may use gaslighting to make her partner question his own sanity or memory, causing confusion and self-doubt.

D. Narcissistic wife has a Superiority complex

She may believe that she is inherently superior to others, including her partner, and may have difficulty acknowledging the strengths or accomplishments of others.

E. Impulsive behavior

A narcissistic wife may engage in impulsive or reckless behavior, without considering the consequences or impact on her partner or others.

F. Unrealistic expectations

 She may have unrealistic expectations of her partner, expecting him to meet her needs and desires without reciprocation.

G. Projection

A narcissistic wife may project her own flaws and insecurities onto her partner, blaming him for the problems in the relationship.

H. Jealousy

 She may become jealous or possessive of her partner, seeing any outside interactions or relationships as a threat to her control or attention.

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Effects of being married to a Narcissist wife

Being married to a narcissistic wife can have significant psychological and social effects on a husband.
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Being married to a narcissistic wife can have significant psychological and social effects on a husband. Here are some of the effects:

1. Low self-esteem

 Narcissistic wives often belittle and criticize their partners, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem in the husband.

2. Anxiety and depression

 The constant criticism, manipulation, and emotional abuse from a narcissistic wife can lead to anxiety and depression in the husband.

3. Isolation

 Narcissistic wives often isolate their partners from their friends and family, leaving the husband feeling alone and without support.

4. Financial strain

 Narcissistic wives may use their partners for financial gain and drain their resources, leading to financial strain and stress.

5. Difficulty trusting others

The emotional abuse and manipulation from a narcissistic wife can lead to a lack of trust in others, including friends and family.

6. Inability to assert oneself

Narcissistic wives often dominate and control their partners, leaving them feeling unable to assert themselves in the relationship.

7. Fear of abandonment

Narcissistic wives may use the threat of abandonment to control their partners, leading to a constant fear of being left alone.

8. Social withdrawal

The emotional toll of being married to a narcissistic wife may cause the husband to withdraw socially and avoid interactions with others.

9. Physical health problems

The chronic stress and emotional abuse from a narcissistic wife can lead to physical health problems such as headaches, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances.

How do narcissistic wives treat their husbands?

Narcissistic wives can display a range of behaviors towards their husbands. They may express verbal and emotional abuse, manipulation, and control in an effort to feel empowered. 

These Wives may also attempt to sabotage their Husband’s accomplishments or create feelings of insecurity through gaslighting or false accusations. 

Narcissistic wives will often require excessive attention from their husband or try to interfere with his relationships with family, friends, and coworkers.

 It’s not uncommon for them to expect preferential treatment from their husband over any other obligations they might have outside the marriage as well.

Can a narcissist be a good wife?

If you’re wondering whether a narcissist can be a good wife, the answer is not straightforward. Narcissistic traits can make it difficult for someone to be a good partner in a marriage. 

A narcissistic wife may prioritize her own needs and desires over those of her spouse, demand constant attention and validation, and struggle to take responsibility for her actions or apologize when she’s wrong.

However, it’s important to note that not all people with narcissistic traits are the same. Some may be more self-aware and willing to work on their behavior in therapy, while others may be resistant to change. 

It’s also possible for someone with narcissistic traits to have positive qualities as a partner, such as being supportive or affectionate at times.


Do Narcissist marriages last?

Narcissistic marriages can be challenging and often end in divorce. Narcissists tend to prioritize their own needs and desires over their partner’s, leading to a lack of emotional connection and intimacy in the relationship.

 And, narcissists may engage in manipulative or abusive behaviors towards their partner, further damaging the relationship. While some narcissistic marriages may last, they are often characterized by unhappiness and dysfunction.


Co-parenting with a Narcissistic wife

Co-parenting with a Narcissistic wife is hard but you can apply some strategies
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Co-parenting with a Narcissistic wife is hard but you can apply some strategies:

Strategy #1: Develop a parenting plan 

 Develop a workable parenting plan and stick to it. As much as possible, create a plan that both parents agree on and stick to it, no matter how difficult it may be.

 Make sure the plan is clear and concise, so that both parents understand their obligations and responsibilities. Establishing a routine can help reduce conflict between co-parents who have different personalities or agendas.

Strategy #2 : Keep emotions out of it

 It’s easy for emotions to get involved when dealing with a narcissistic ex-wife who may not be concerned about the well being of your children but her own agenda instead. 

However, it is important to focus on what’s best for the kids and avoid getting dragged into personal conflicts or arguments that have nothing to do with them directly.

Strategy #3: Put Your Children’s Needs First

In any situation when dealing with a narcissistic wife it is critical to put your children’s needs first above all else.

 This means setting appropriate expectations for behavior while not allowing them to become pawns in adult conflicts or enabling bad behavior from either parent by allowing them to get away with things they shouldn’t do (such as verbal abuse). 

And, try not to involve your children in disputes between parents; this can cause unnecessary stress and lack of trust in both relationships.

Strategy #4. Use positive reinforcement

 Narcissistic people tend to respond better when they receive positive attention rather than criticism or judgment.

Therefore, it is important to show them appreciation for their efforts when appropriate instead of pointing out errors or mistakes they may make while co-parenting.

It’s important to recognize that children can be affected by narcissistic mothers, and as a father, it’s essential to take responsibility for their well-being and provide care and support.


How To Deal with a Narcissistic Wife?

Dealing with a narcissistic wife can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can help manage the relationship and reduce conflict.
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Dealing with a narcissistic wife can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can help manage the relationship and reduce conflict. Here are some tips for dealing with a narcissistic wife:

1. Stay vigilant for extreme reactions and emotional outbursts

 A narcissistic wife may react strongly to even minor issues. It’s important to remain aware of her emotional state and try to de-escalate any potential conflicts.

2. Choose your battles carefully and focus on the issues that truly matter

 With a narcissistic wife, it’s easy to get bogged down in minor details and arguments. Prioritize the issues that truly matter and let go of small disagreements.

3. Practice calm and effective communication, even when dealing with a Narcissistic wife

 Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important when dealing with a narcissistic wife. Use clear, concise language and remain calm even if she becomes defensive or hostile.

4. Establish clear boundaries from the beginning

 A narcissistic wife may try to push boundaries or control the relationship. Establishing clear boundaries from the beginning can help set expectations and prevent conflicts down the line.

5. Be mindful of your own behavior and reactions to avoid escalating conflicts

 It’s important to be aware of your own behavior and reactions in the relationship. Avoid becoming defensive or reactive, as this can escalate conflicts and make the situation worse.

6. Use inclusive language like “we” instead of individualistic language like “I” to promote cooperation and teamwork

 When discussing issues with a narcissistic wife, use inclusive language to promote teamwork and cooperation.

This can help her feel more involved in the decision-making process and reduce conflict.

7. Avoid giving in to attention-seeking tactics and instead focus on constructive problem-solving

 A narcissistic wife may use attention-seeking tactics to control the relationship. Rather than giving in to these tactics, focus on constructive problem-solving and finding solutions that work for both partners.

Final Thoughts

If you are married to a narcissistic wife, it can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. However, it is essential to remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to handle the situation. 

It is important to set boundaries, seek support from friends or family, and consider therapy or counseling. Remember that your mental health and well-being should always come first. 

By taking care of yourself and learning how to navigate the relationship with your narcissistic wife, you can survive and thrive in your marriage.

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By Fahim Chughtai
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A psychologist, and narcissist hunter. Writing for the people who need help to fight narcissists in their life.
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