If you’re trying to get over a narcissist, you know that one of the hardest things to do is create emotional distance from a narcissist. In this blog post, I will discuss 9 ways to put space between yourself and the narcissist in your life.
Narcissists are masters at getting close to you and then using your emotions against you. They make you feel like you can’t live without them, and then they disappear when it’s convenient for them. If you want to break free from their grip, you need to learn how to create emotional distance.
What is the emotional distance?
Narcissists are infamous for their emotional manipulation and lack of empathy. But what is emotional distance, and how can it help you deal with a narcissist?
Emotional distance is the emotional space between you and another person. It’s the ability to remain calm and clear-headed in the face of someone else’s drama.
Why do you need to create emotional distance from a Narcissist?
When you have emotional distance, you’re not invested in the other person’s emotional state. You’re able to take a step back and see the situation for what it is, without getting caught up in the emotion.
This can be a valuable tool when dealing with a narcissist, who is often trying to control your emotions. If you can maintain emotional distance, you’ll be less likely to fall victim to their manipulation.
Signs that you need to create emotional distance from a Narcissist
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the narcissist in your life, it may be time to create some emotional distance. Here are a few signs that you need to put some space between yourself and the narcissist:
* You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around them.
* You can’t have a normal conversation without them turning it into a fight.
* They make you feel guilty or inferior when you don’t do what they want.
* They constantly criticize you and put you down.
* They drain all of your energy and make you feel exhausted.
* You feel like you’re constantly giving in to them, or that you have no control over the relationship.
If any of these things are happening in your relationship, it’s time to start creating some emotional distance.
9 ways to create emotional distance from a narcissist
Here are 9 ways if you want to create emotional distance from a narcissist:
1. Limit contact with narcissists
If you’re struggling to create emotional distance from a narcissist, one of the best things you can do is limit contact with them. This means reducing the amount of time you spend around them and avoiding any situations that might put you in close contact.
It can be hard to do this, especially if you’re still in a relationship with the narcissist, but it’s important to remember that you need to take care of yourself.
2. Identify why it’s hard to create emotional distance
There are several reasons why it can be hard to create emotional distance from a narcissist. One of the main reasons is that narcissists are often very good at manipulating their victims. They know how to get close to you and make you feel dependent on them, and then they disappear when it’s convenient for them.
They also know how to push your buttons and make you react emotionally. If you’re not able to maintain emotional distance, you’ll be more likely to fall victim to their manipulation.
Another reason it can be hard to create emotional distance is that you may feel like you’re abandoning the narcissist or turning your back on them. You may feel guilty or like you’re not doing enough, but remember that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.
Lastly, it can be hard to create emotional distance because the narcissist often becomes a part of your daily life. They may be in your family, social circle, or workplace, and it’s hard to avoid them completely. But if you can limit contact and keep your distance when necessary, you can still protect yourself from their harmful influence.
3. Refuse to play their games.
One of the best ways to maintain emotional distance from a narcissist is to refuse to play their games. This means refusing to react emotionally to their manipulation and instead staying calm and in control. Narcissists love to get a reaction out of their victims, so by refusing to play their games, you’re essentially taking away their power.
Some of the most common games that narcissists like to play include the following:
The pity game.
The pity game is when the narcissist pretends to be a victim in order to get sympathy from the victim. They may make up stories about how they’ve been hurt or wronged, or they may act like they’re not able to take care of themselves.
By playing the pity game, the narcissist can make their victim feel guilty and obligated to take care of them.
The guilt game.
The guilt game is when the narcissist makes their victim feel guilty for not doing what they want or for not living up to their expectations. They may accuse their victim of being selfish or unsupportive, and they may make them feel like they’re not good enough. This game is designed to control and manipulate the victim into doing what the narcissist wants.
The love-bombing game.
Love-bombing is when the narcissist showers their victim with excessive compliments and attention in order to win them over. They may make them feel special and wanted, and they may promise them everything under the sun. By love-bombing their victim, the narcissist can get them to lower their defenses and make them more vulnerable to manipulation.
4. Don’t take their bait.
One of the best ways to deal with a narcissist is to not take their bait. This means not reacting emotionally to their manipulation, and instead staying calm and in control. Narcissists love to get a reaction out of their victims, so by not taking their bait, you’re essentially taking away their power.
5. Maintain your independence.
One of the easiest ways to create emotional distance from a narcissist is to maintain your independence and autonomy. Don’t let them control or manipulate you — stand up for yourself.
6. Narcissists cannot be fixed and there is no point in trying.
It can be difficult to accept that the narcissist in your life is never going to change, but it’s important to remember this fact. The narcissist is not capable of empathy or love, and they will never be able to truly connect with you.
There is no point in trying to fix them or change them — it’s a fruitless endeavor. Accepting this fact can help you put some emotional distance between yourself and the narcissist.
7. Set boundaries and stick to them — don’t let the narcissist control your life
If you want to maintain a healthy emotional distance from a narcissist, you need to set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let the narcissist control your life.
Establish firm limits on what you will and will not tolerate, and enforce them consistently. Don’t give in to their demands or manipulations. Stand up for yourself and don’t let them walk all over you.
By setting boundaries and sticking to them, you’ll be able to keep the narcissist at arm’s length and maintain your sanity.
8. Don’t make excuses for their behavior or try to rationalize it
It’s very easy to make excuses for the narcissist in your life or to try to rationalize their abusive behavior. But doing this only enables them and allows them to continue their abusive ways.
If you want to create emotional distance from a narcissist, you need to be honest about their behavior and refuse to make excuses for it. Recognize that the narcissist is not capable of change, and stop trying to explain away their bad behavior.
9. Disengage from any conversations or activities that are harmful or triggering
If you want to maintain a healthy emotional distance from a narcissist, it’s important to be aware of the conversations and activities that are harmful or triggering for you.
If you know that a certain topic or activity is likely to upset or anger you, avoid it. Disengage from any conversations or activities that are harmful or triggering for you, and don’t let the narcissist lure you into them.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to create emotional distance. It can be hard to do, but you can follow the 9 ways to create emotional distance.
By learning what emotional distance is and identifying the signs that you need to create it, you can take back your life and start moving forward.
Remember that you are not responsible for the narcissist’s behavior, and you cannot change them. It’s important to focus on your own well-being and happiness and to take care of yourself emotionally.
Don’t let the narcissist consume your life — maintain healthy boundaries and keep them at arm’s length.